The tragic case of Gabby Petito, a 22-year-old travel vlogger killed by her fiancé during a cross-country road trip in 2021, has once again brought the issue of domestic violence to the forefront of public consciousness. Netflix's docuseries, "American Murder: Gabby Petito," reveals never-before-seen details about her story, sparking outrage over the lack of intervention that could have potentially saved her life. Petito's case is not an isolated incident; it is one of many domestic violence tragedies involving young people that continue to provoke anger and fear, especially when these cases involve teenagers.

In the United States, teen dating violence remains a disturbingly common issue. According to statistics from the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, about one in three teenagers experiences physical, sexual, emotional, or verbal abuse from a dating partner. The consequences of such violence can be both immediate and long-lasting. Victims are more likely to face depression, anxiety, substance abuse, aggressive behavior, and suicidal thoughts, according to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). With such high stakes, it is crucial to understand the dynamics of teen dating violence and how to address it effectively.

Recognizing the Signs of Abuse

Many people associate domestic violence with physical acts such as pushing, hitting, or sexual assault. However, a more insidious form of abuse, known as coercive control, is also prevalent. Coercive control is a psychological tactic used to exert power over someone, typically to instill feelings of isolation and fear. Sherry Hamby, a distinguished research professor of psychology at the University of the South in Sewanee, Tennessee, explains that common signs of coercive control include demanding to know a partner’s whereabouts, pressuring them for explicit photos or passwords, and discouraging them from seeing friends or family members.

"Coercive control is designed to make a person feel trapped and isolated," Hamby says. "It often goes unnoticed because it doesn't leave physical marks, but its impact can be just as devastating."

Teens often struggle to recognize these unhealthy dynamics, especially because pop culture frequently portrays jealousy as a sign of love. However, control-driven behaviors are usually red flags for deeper issues, according to Dr. Krista Mehari, a licensed clinical psychologist and assistant professor at Vanderbilt University.

The Importance of Consent and Boundaries

Sexual victimization is another critical concern in teen relationships. Even if an incident doesn’t involve rape, any form of coercion—such as forced kissing, nonconsensual touching, or pressure to engage in sexual activities—is still considered sexual assault. Consent must always be explicit, enthusiastic, and ongoing, meaning it can change at any point during an interaction, Hamby emphasizes.

Reproductive coercion is another form of abuse that teens may not easily recognize. This includes pressuring a partner to have unprotected sex, lying about contraception, or manipulating them into having a baby. "These behaviors are often subtle but can have significant long-term consequences," Hamby says.

The Role of Parents and Guardians

Navigating healthy relationships can be challenging for both teens and parents. Open communication and vigilance are critical to preventing acts of violence. Hamby recommends that parents and guardians engage in frequent check-ins with their teens to take note of any changes or problems. Teens should ensure they aren’t being insulted or put down in a relationship, particularly when it comes to criticisms about their appearance or weight.

For those involved in sports or general interest activities, a supportive partner should encourage them to continue these hobbies and be happy to see them thrive. "A healthy relationship should support personal growth and independence," Hamby says. "If a partner is hindering these aspects, it's a red flag."

More obvious signs of dating violence include blatant threats, damage or destruction of property, or aggressive physical advances. Parents and caregivers can observe a teen’s relationships for these warning signs to help identify abuse that adolescents might overlook.

Intervening in a Teen’s Relationship

Intervening in a teen’s relationship can be tricky, as adolescents often resist oversight from parents or caregivers. Instead of imposing restrictions, Hamby suggests sharing resources with information about both abusive and healthy relationships, allowing teens to explore them independently rather than feeling pressured.

Another approach is bringing in a trusted outside source, such as another family member, coach, or religious leader whom the teen sees as a more objective guide. "Sometimes, hearing advice from someone other than a parent can make a big difference," Hamby says.

Girls and young women are often taught to avoid saying "no" to be polite, which can make them vulnerable to sexual coercion later in life. Teaching children to assert boundaries early on can help them navigate these situations confidently before they enter the dating world.

Modeling and Discussing Healthy Relationships

Parents and guardians play a crucial role in demonstrating respect, communication, kindness, and boundaries as they model healthy relationships for their kids. However, leading by example may not always be enough. Adults should also provide explicit guidance for handling relationship challenges.

Since some teens may be hesitant to open up about their relationship struggles, using pop culture as a conversation starter can be effective. Discussing relationship dynamics from a TV show or movie can provide a low-stakes way to distinguish between healthy and harmful behaviors.

Mehari points to the example of the popular Christmastime song "Baby, It’s Cold Outside," which some critics say romanticizes coercion and disregards consent. "Use this song as an opportunity to discuss what to do if someone won’t take 'no' for an answer," Mehari suggests.

Parents and guardians can also initiate conversations based on real-life relationships their teen observes, such as divorced friends or peer relationships at school. Creating less personal and emotionally charged discussions can help teens process these issues more objectively.

Creating a Safe Environment for Open Communication

Most importantly, families who want their kids to be honest must create a safe, judgment-free environment in which teens feel comfortable being vulnerable without fear of immediate punishment. "Parents need to build relationships in which their child knows that the parents will listen and be curious, instead of reacting right away," Mehari says.

Seeking Help and Support

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or mental health issues, please call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988 to connect with a trained counselor, or visit the 988 Lifeline website.

The tragic story of Gabby Petito serves as a stark reminder of the dangers of teen dating violence and the importance of recognizing and addressing unhealthy relationship dynamics. While the path to preventing such tragedies is complex, it begins with education, open communication, and a commitment to fostering healthy relationships. Parents, guardians, and communities must work together to provide the support and guidance teens need to navigate the challenges of dating safely and confidently. By creating a culture of respect, consent, and open dialogue, we can help ensure that future generations are better equipped to recognize and avoid abusive relationships.